The power of choice is a small but powerful habit that could transform to live a positively better life. It's easier said than done, but we need to be conscious of how we feel and choose if we want to feel good or bad.
In this episode, I shared my findings and experiences to provide you with insights and different perspectives on the way we think.
Visit my website at c-dang.com
Follow me on Instagram @christine_dang
To check out the links mentioned in this episode, visit: TheDangGoodShow.com > Under Show Notes.
Welcome to the Dang Good Show! Episode 001.
Life, as it is, is already tough. Why not learn ways to make it a little more comfortable?
Each episode, I will deliver straight facts to inspire positive change so you can live a Dang Good Life.
If you want to learn how to be more social and self-aware or want to hear some great advice and life's adventure, this show is for you!
Heeeey, how ya’ll doin’?? Thanks so much for tuning in! I'm your host, C-DANG, from beautiful Vancouver of British Columbia in Canada.
In my past videos, I never really got to share more about who I am.. So who is C-DANG? Well, for starters, My name is Christine Dan. I am a woman with many creative drives, interests and passions. I love the arts, music, streetwear, especially dem sneakers, and have always been curious to explore in-depth topics about growth, traveling, and food. But what I am most interested in since I was a kid is people, and what I am capable of. So I’ve read a lot of self help books, articles, and everything I could get my hands on to find ways to connect better with people, build better relationships, and how I could live a better and happier life. A more meaningful life with purpose.
The more I read, the more I broke down a lot of walls and past beliefs that was blocking my potential to be happier. I’ve learned that building a positive relationship with yourself is probably the most important relationship you will ever have. It’s being real with yourself, and taking care of your mind, body and spirit. Which we, myself included, tend to neglect. I’m still curious and I’m still learning. We need to have a curious mindset so it helps our brain to want to learn and experience the beauty of this life we have.
In a world filled with intolerance, anger, and anxiety, I recognized, at a young age, the value of creating positive connections with others to learn and teach. Learning to make others laugh and smile was a quick way to form a relationship.
as time passes,
Alright, so in this episode, we are gonna talk about the Power of Choice. The choice to feel good or bad. To love or hate. To have a positive attitude or a negative one.
A simple shift yet powerful way to live our day to day life. If I choose to feel good,choose to love more with a positive attitude.
As with many of us, COVID has changed our way of life. And like many of us, we are feelin’ a wee bit more disconnected with the lack of face to face connection and fearful of the unknown.
So let me tell you… The last few years have been challenging, lots of ups and downs but nonetheless lots of experiences to learn from. Like for me, I learned a lot about my body and more about my mind. Especially in the last few months, I have had a lot of in-depth self-realization and past traumas to settle. But nonetheless, I’m grateful for everything that has happened, good and bad, because it has to lead me here, to where I am supposed to be.
This past year, I somehow lost my way with this simple yet powerful thought of ‘choice’ and felt like I’m limbo. Life throws lemons at ya, I somehow block those lemons, but forget to make the lemonade.
So to put it in perspective, when life throws challenges at me, I would recognize how I feel but didn’t move forward. I didn’t choose to feel good, and I definitely chose to feel bad a little with a bit of shaming, but overall, I just felt bleh. After a while, that state of feeling becomes empty.
I have this goal to read a book a month, and the past few months, I gotta say, the 2 books I'm going to talk about not only shook me, but woke me up.
A fixed mindset is when you think you cannot do more because that’s how god made you. Where you look at other people who are successful and think, “they were born with those gifts.” Like, “why waste my time doing something when I know I don’t have the talent for it.” This is a dangerous mindset (and one that I grew up with) because it makes you VERY concerned with how you’ll be judged, critizied which brings higher levels of depression.
While with a growth mindset makes you more concerned with improving. Understanding that to be great or better will involve a lot of effort. This mindset builds confidence in the midst of challenges. A growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can grow and build through efforts. So the saying, “practice makes perfect,” is very important because EVERYONE can change and grow through application and experience.
Understanding the difference between the 2 mindset, will open a lot of opportunities for growth.
And UNDERSTANDING that we can all grow from a fixed mindset to growth. It will take time, patience and effort.
How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead. Wow, I'm more than half way through, and already got me feeling some sort of way.
A lot of people think vulnerability is a weakness, but it could actually be your greatest strength. I love the part where she mentioned that all artists, whether you are a dancer, painter, singer, filmmaker, when you are putting your work out there, that’s vulnerability. By sharing with the world, you are daring greatly. This is the same for pro athletes, who give it their all in games to win championships but if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.
Ok, let me read you from this book:
Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.
Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face everyday are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and act with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.
So digging deeper into our thoughts, feelings and understanding where it comes from. It’s the most courageous thing anyone can do for themselves. Learning to accept who you are and your faults.
And if you have faults you are not proud of, you have the power to choose to change it. You are not stuck with what you have. That’s the power of the growth mindset.
Growing up in an Asian household, no one opened up, or spoke about feelings without being judged, criticized or bashed for it. But with the newfound knowledge that I have acquired from these books, I can learn to understand the history behind certain actions, accept it for what it is, learn ways to deal with it and move on.
Funny enough, the biggest lesson from this book is that I got to understand the term, “Gaslighting”. Here’s the first thing that popped up when I google ‘gaslighting’
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group secretly plants the seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment, often evoking conflict within the mind and other changes including low self-esteem.
We have all experienced this in one form or another. I am learning how to recognize it when it’s happening and to not let it stick whether it’s someone doing it to me or, if i’m unconsciously doing it to someone else. It’s straight up toxic and from experience, very traumatic. Which takes time to heal.
These 2 books were recommended from an online course I took called The Science of Well-Being taught by Yale University Professor Laurie Santos. It’s like 2 of the many many books recommended for reading.
By the way, the online course is FREE. This class was so popular that she made it online so everyone, EVERYONE could learn to live a happier life. Did I mention it was FREE? I’ll post links to the books and the course below.
Let’s get back to the subject of CHOICES.
Now here’s the thing, no matter that you say. You cannot feel happy and sad at the same time. It’s not possible, we can’t multitask feelings.
Our brain is capable of feeling one emotion at a time. We can’t feel anger and joy at the same time. Our brain just doesn’t work that way. So we have the choice to choose: to feel good or bad. To love or hate. It’s really that simple. But our human minds like to make things complicated by overthinking situations and our thoughts.
Ok, I want to share a clip of an interview from Impact Theory on Youtube.
The gentleman who spoke is a psychologist by the name of Dr. Michael Gervais (GER-VAY) . This guy isn’t just any other psychologist. Dr. Michael Gervais has helped Super Bowl winners, Olympic gold medalists, Fortune 500 companies and more dominate their field by molding their mindset into that of a high-performer.
Not only is this interview one of my favs but His words hit home, like deep. He explained why he believes every great change starts with pain, about building relationships and balancing accountability with love and breakdowns the process of building self-awareness. But above all else, to always choose love.
Here are a few things he said:
“It's vulnerability that is how we train emotional capacity. The more that we become vulnerable and demonstrate the courage to do so, we expand our capacity to feel.”
“In the present moment is where all things high performance take place. That's where love happens. It's where relationships and the fabric of relationships are strengthened and revealed. It's where our glimpses of wisdom and potential happens.”
Ugh, my heart. I love the message and the fact that Dr. Michael Gervais teaches and trains pro-athletes to be vulnerable, self-aware and aware of their teammates.
Definitely check out the video… after this episode! I’ll leave a link below or somewhere on this screen.
How yall doing so far? Should I continue? I will take the silence as a yes.
- "The 3 C's in life: Choice, Chance, and Change.
You must make the choice, to take the Chance, if you want anything in life to Change."
This was jotted down in a notebook and for the life of me, I don’t remember which book I got this from, but the 3Cs came to me in the most perfect timing in Fall of 2011. It was during a time I was lost, confused and wasn't happy with my life.
To others, I had a good thing going. I worked for the famous Chanel. For those who don't know what Chanel is: Chanel is a French fashion house that focuses on women's high fashion and ready-to-wear clothes, luxury goods and accessories.
So anyways, I worked for Chanel, I was making a really good living, and living the life. But, at the same time, I had no purpose, and equally lost.
I knew I had to make changes in my life that would've been scary and drastic at the time. The 3Cs helped guide and motivate me to move forward. So I thought about it hard… what drastic change could I make in my life that would really take me out of my comfort zone so I could GROW.
So first thought was: I always, ALWAYS wanted to travel the world and learn a new language. I have never been anywhere overseas…
2nd: Where can I go that I won't know anyone? And start from scratch?
3rd: I googled, what asian language is the easiest to learn.
To my surprise, it’s Korean. HanGuel. The university of oxford said, Korean is the easiest language to learn in the world. BOOM. this is perfect, cuz i don’t know anyone who lives in Seoul, and English is apparently their ‘2nd language’, which isn’t entirely true.
The next few months before the big move, I took night classes to learn basic Korean, I handed my resignation letter to Chanel, I sold my furniture, moved everything else in either a storage unit or luggage, bought my one way ticket to Seoul in South Korea and lived there for 4 months. I wish I could’ve stayed for a year, but I had to come back for a wedding since I was asked to be maid of honor a few months before I left for Seoul.
But overall, the trip was LIFE CHANGING GUYS. I must have an episode about that trip for sure! It was the most amazing and terrifying experience. I am so grateful I made a Choice to travel, took a chance on myself and made the changes. And it’s all because of that quote! It’s amazing how few words could hit you like a smack in the face. I was woken up.
Another powerful choice that would do a LOT of good in both your world and others, is to be kind. We need ‘kindness’ more than ever. 2020 came out with a whole lotta baggage, and it’s bringing the worst from people.
It's harder to be kind than clever. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos once remarked on the differences between the gifts you're given and the choices you make. He said, "Cleverness is a gift, kindness is a choice. Gifts are easy — they're given after all. Choices can be hard."
Small acts of kindness is a choice people make that could positively impact others and brightens their day. And to top it off, it's important to be kind because it makes you feel good about yourself. I've made a video on "Being Polite Could get you far", you can click here to watch it.
So you feelin’ what I’m tryin’ to say? How the power of choice could be a positive powerful force? So we could choose to feel good,and by choosing to feel good, we will learn to love more and to love more, being kind will come easily.
Now here’s another kicker, Choosing to feel good will kinda steer you towards a positive attitude. But if you choose to feel sad or bad the outcome is, yup, a negative attitude.
So let’s take a look at the differences between positive and negative attitudes.
A person with a positive attitude pays attention to the good and success of others. They are confident, optimistic and reliable. They pay attention to the good, rather than the bad in people, situations, events etc.
A person with a negative attitude pays attention to other people’s shortcomings. They are pessimistic, have some sort of hatred for things, and resentful - to name a few. Not only do they look for problems, but they blame others for the problems.
A life filled with a positive attitude is filled with positive impact. When we give the best of ourselves, we get the best from others.
With a positive attitude, A single act does make a difference; it creates a ripple effect that can be felt many miles and people away.
Sir Winston Churchill says it best,
”Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”
Our attitude towards people, places, things, or situations determines the choices that we make.
If we dive a little deeper, you will learn there are three different types of attitudes that people will have:
Positive Attitude, Negative Attitude and Neutral Attitude. To learn more, I made a video about “ How a Positive Attitude will make your life better.” Check it out when you get a chance, I will provide a link for you below.
Thank you for joining me on The Dang Good Show. Make sure you check out my website c-dang.com and follow me on instagram @christine_dang. If you like this show, subscribe where you can so you’ll never miss an episode. While you’re at it, if you find valuable information on this show, i would appreciate it if you can give me a thumbs up and a good rating on iTunes - or if you’d simply tell a friend about the show, that would help me out too!
I’m going to leave you off with some words I’ve found randomly scribbled in a notebook:
Don’t ever attach yourself to a person, a place, a company, an organization or a project. Attach yourself to a mission, a calling, a purpose ONLY. That’s how you keep your power and your peace.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of the Dang good show Episode 001
Thanks again for tuning in! C-DANG signing out! I’ll catch you next time.