We've all experienced it: people who treated us so well and people who treated us like crap. Most of the time, how we treat others is a reflection of who we are. This topic runs deeper into how you treat yourself sets the tone for how others could treat you.
In this episode, I shared my findings and experiences to provide you with insights, and different perspectives on how you treat others say a lot about you. And I will share 5 tips on how to get others to treat you better.
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We've all experienced it: people who treated us so well and people who treated us like crap.
I don't know about you, but those who treated me right, I wanna remember the traits and try to pass it forward. But when someone is treating me wrong, I remember the feeling and try not to move it forward. You feel me?
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Alright, Today we are gonna talk about how you treat others says a lot about you and I will give you 5 tips …………
It may seem like a simple subject, but it runs a lot deeper than you think.
Most of the time, how we treat others is a reflection of who we are. So, if you are treating someone shitty, well for most, they'd say you're a shitty person, but from a positive prospect, I would view it as, you just had a shitty day and didn't realize you are taking it out on others.
And as T.H. Thompson would say, "Be Kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
For those who treat others well, well, they have a positive outlook. And their energy really does shine.
Okay, so I read an article on INC.com about "how you treat others is how you invite them to treat you." and the first sentence was, "If you want to know how others treat you, the best starting place is to look at how you treat others."
As much as I want to agree to this statement, I wanna rephrase it a little: If you want to know how others treat you, the best starting place is to look at how you treat YOURSELF and others.
Because "Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have."
Let that sink in. REpeat
And if you don't like the way you're treated, there's only one course of action--you can change your own behaviour because you can't change anyone else's.
Think of it this way, relationships function like a mirror- -eventually, that change will reflect back onto how you are treated.
For those who have gotten to know me, I talk a lot about leading by example. Because how you are will attract others like you. Like attracts like. It's the law of attraction in the works.
Okay, you might be asking, "okay, CDang, so how do we get others to treat us better?"
I thought you'd never ask. Imma give you 5 tips that will get people to treat you better.
#1- Know your worth and be kind. First and foremost, you gotta remember that not everyone is like you. You are a unique person, and there ain't nobody else out there like you. That right, there is a great reason to know and own your worthiness. If you don't respect yourself, Hunny, your energy doesn't lie, people feel it, and there's a high chance that they won't appreciate you too.
Sometimes we get lost in the sauce with our thoughts that we are not worthy of love, success, or anything significant. We are our own worst critics. I know I was, and today, I can confidently say, I love myself more than ever did.
For the last few years, one of the most challenging experiences I have ever endured is enlightenment. Oh, it's a process for a lifetime but well worth it. We all think that enlightenment entails becoming better and being happier. Well, I'm here to tell you, It's a destructive process. You break down a lot of walls and face a lot of uncomfortable truths that a lot of people can't face themselves.
Let’s be honest, is that you right now? I will admit, I was too, and still figuring it out. But one thing for sure, a method to reach enlightenment that’s been proven from research and by monks is meditation. I started my practice in November of 2017 with the help of an app called Headspace. It changed my life. I was anxious, had millions of thoughts going through my mind, and borderline depressed. If this sounds like you, I highly recommend you try mediation - and the best tool to use is Headspace.
Now with being mindful, there's this raw beauty that comes out of it. Because we become more loving, empathic and patient with ourselves and the people around us.
The lotus flower, which is so beautiful and magical if you get a chance to see one in person.
If anyone knows about the lotus flower: it grows through the muddy waters as it calls for the sun each morning, breaks the surface of the water, and blooms untouched by the mud; each petal remains clean and pure. Closing at night, it sinks back below the water's surface, only to resurface again in the morning.
The lotus is a reminder that in a world riddled with fear, we can only stay loving inside. Like the lotus, we too can grow through dark times and difficulties, and we can rise again and again to shine from a real place within.
Wasn't it so beautiful? So to dive a little deeper. The lotus flower symbolizes purity and harmony. It's reflective of beauty, spiritual awakening, potential, rebirth, creation, and eternity.
Okay, i got carried away, but isn't that so beautiful. I'd like to think that our journey for self-love and to live a more fulfilling life is like that of the lotus flower. It's the most courageous thing anyone can do for themselves. The best part of owning your self-worth is when you start to pay attention and take care of our body, mind and spirit. Be kind, take care of yourself and know your worth.
#2 - Understand that you may have different perspectives from others.
Now besides respecting yourself, you gotta respect other people's thoughts, opinions and history. Your way may be different from their approach. Your level of perspective is different from theirs. This is how arguments start- from misunderstandings.
I say this with a heavy heart because I hear so many stories about toxic relationships (which I have also experienced). and We've heard it all before… You know, the, 'he said, she said,' The "I'm right, they are wrong." or "They don't fucken get it. They don't understand".
I think you get the point.
Many situations could get your blood boiling, but I firmly believe if you take a few steps back, put down your ego and just listen. And I mean really listen. People just want to be heard and loved. Every human being wants this. We want to connect with others.
But sometimes some particular individuals just want to be proven right. To make sure you know they are correct, and you are wrong. And who knows, I may have treated some people like this when I was waaaaaay younger who didn’t know any better.
If you are what I just described, please listen carefully, no one likes to hear how great you are by making someone else feel small. Never look down on someone because you have no idea how far that person will end up or how successful she or he will be. The great thing is, we can learn from our mistakes and grow.
Here's what I found on Instagram that explains it best and I'm not gonna lie, it made me laugh because it spoke a lot of truth.,
"I don't even argue with people anymore because i started to realize that everyone only understands from their level of perception. So now even if you tell me 2 + 2 equals 10, you're right. Enjoy"
Haha, I love that post so much. It's just perfect. A great example of “let’s agree to disagree” and practicing the art of letting go.
Now, let's just say you are in a pickled situation. And an argument is gonna happen.
Instead of feeding the fire with fire, for example, raising your voice to be heard and get angry…
Instead, Try speaking softly. It forces active listening, which leads to proactive thinking. When they are listening and thinking, they are not yelling, arguing or talking. Otherwise, you are just 2 people barking at each other like little chihuahuas—a competition of who can be louder.
Which leads me to the next part.
#3 Everyone has a story. Try not to judge people by their past, instead of support and show some love.
We all have a history. It could be something we have gone through in the past or something we’re still dealing with.
Whatever the history, just know that people do change and grow. Instead of shaming, which cuts growth and a chance for them to change, lead by example.
Be the bigger person by being compassionate and empathetic to those in a bad place.
So remember, everyday people, are fighting a battle you know nothing about. Just because we don’t see or try to understand their struggle, it doesn’t mean they are not hurting.
Remember, every relationship made and every person you meet is no accident. They came into your life for a reason whether they made you feel good or bad, there’s always a lesson to be learned. I find the biggest lesson comes from those who make you feel small or bad about yourself. Why? Because of three things. 1. You will learn to recognize toxic behaviors, and will be more conscious when you come across another person with similar behaviors. Basically, you’ll know who to avoid. 2. You will Learn what you can tolerate, then find ways to deal with them through patience and . and 3. You will learn to understand why people do what they do.
Here’s a little secret: It’s usually due to insecurities and lack of confidence. When people feel small, they try to act bigger with their aggression because they wanna feel known. It’s what they call the ‘little man syndrome’, which we have all experienced in one form or another.
Usually when people are very unpleasant, I’m usually nicer and patient with them because they lack a lot of love in their life. I made a video on how you could deal with assholes. I’ll be sure to leave a link in this episode's Notes. You can find it by visit thedanggoodshow.com
Just treat all walks of life with respect and let them go on their own journey. It’s not your life, it’s theirs.
#4 Be curious. Listen with curiosity, speak with candour and act with integrity.
The article I mentioned earlier from INC.com says it beautifully. And I quote.
Listening and curiosity allow relationships to thrive. Speaking your truth will enable people to be honest with themselves and with you, and acting with integrity keeps relationships on a high standard. Relationships need curiosity to grow, candour to deepen and integrity to continue.
Let that last bit sink in. Relationships need curiosity to grow, candour to deepen and integrity to continue.
Let’s take a dive a little deeper.
Listening with curiosity - When you start listening with interest, your relationships will improve significantly as you will gain the trust and respect of others. Listening is the best form of respect for other people, and it's a powerful tool to build quality relationships.
Making eye contact is the best way to let your speaker know you are investing time to hear what they are saying. Listening is a great way to learn about the other person's perspective, so don't be too quick to judge others. And try to ask open-ended questions. Like for example, If someone is talking about a shirt they bought, ask them what was it about the shirt they like the most ? Or a trip they went on, ask them what were their favourite spots and why?
Speaking with Candour - Now for those who don't know, candour is the state or quality of being frank, open and sincere in speeches or expression. It's free from reservation and disguise. It means being straightforward. Now here's the thing. Speaking with candour does take practise and is well worth the effort because it will let you connect with people on a deeper level. When you speak with sincerity and honesty, you are making a commitment to say what is true for you. This ties in with being vulnerable, which I find is so fascinating. Because people think being vulnerable is a sign of weakness. Ohh, no, It's super strength. Not a lot of people could feel comfortable sharing stories that would involve vulnerability.
And lastly, to act with integrity means you are true to yourself and would do nothing that demeans or dishonours you. Great leaders speak with integrity to gain maximum credibility. It means walking the talk.
A person who speaks without integrity, I don’t know about you, but immediately the word trustworthiness disappears. Honesty and trust is an important factor to building quality relationships.
And lastly #5,
Treat everybody with kindness not because they are kind-hearted, but because you are.
Yes, I’ve already mentioned it in the first point. But the greatest gift you can give anyone is to be kind. Not only would being kind make you feel better about yourself, which is a big plus. It will lead others to do the same and pass it forward.
Here 3 ways we can be kinder.
Spread kindness. Spread happiness. There are enough toxicity and negativity out there, and the world doesn’t need any more of it. Kindness goes a long way and causes a ripple effect.
And there you have it. Those the 5 tips that will make people treat you better
#1- Know your worth and be kind
#2 - Understand and respect that your perspective is different from others.
#3 Everyone has a story. Try not to judge people by their past, instead of support and show some love
#4 Always be curious. Listen with curiosity, speak with candour and act with integrity.
And lastly, #5 Treat everybody with kindness not because they are kind-hearted, but because you are.
Bottom line: How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.
How you make people feel says a lot about you. It shows your true self.
Your words and action reflect your character. And keep in mind that it also comes down to how you describe others would say a lot about you.
How you treat others says a lot about you. Here's 5 tips that will make them treat you better..