Habits make us who we are. Good habits could earn you honors and admiration while bad habits could frankly earn you a bad reputation.
Replacing bad habits with good ones, not only helps you live a well-balanced life, but they shape you to become better versions of yourself. In this video, I've listed and explained the 4 worst habits people have that are toxic. And went through how you could turn these 4 bad habits into good ones!
4 Worst Habits That Are Toxic.
Welcome to the Dang Good Show! I'm your host, C DANG, from Vancouver of British Columbia, in Canada. Thanks so much for tuning in! This is Episode 008. I'm here to spread self and social awareness because I believe it's key to positive change. It makes us more compassionate and thoughtful towards others, creating a ripple effect that's good and lasting.
This show is about anything and everything related to creating positive connections with others and your surroundings, but most importantly, with yourself. To share life's adventures, advice, and experiences with a few laughs. I hope that each episode will spark a chain reaction to inspire you to live a Dang Good Life.
You can also catch me on Instagram @christine_dang and/or my website, C-DANG.COM.
Before I dive into today's leading topic - First, I want to talk about Red Table Talk's latest episode called Confronting The Divide Between Black and Asian Americans". Such a powerful and much-needed talk. I'm sure many of you are aware of the violent acts against Asians because of Covid-19. It's horrific. My heart goes out to the families that were affected. I can't imagine it happening to my grandparents.
Although on social media, The videos and stories we see mostly are blacks attacking elderly Asians. But what the media doesn't reveal is that only 5% were done by black people out of all of the attacks, and the rest are white.
So to my Asian people, do not judge the few situations thinking the blacks are against us. I urge you to widen your perspective and watch the show I'm talking about.
For those who don't know what the heck the Red Table Talk is - it's a show hosted by Jada Pinkett Smith, her daughter Willow, and mother Adrienne – three generations of women who open their home for a series of candid conversations with family.
You'll definitely gotta check it out. I can't say enough about how powerful it is, and I really hope people will watch it more to understand the depth of the issue and start to love it more.
Let me read what the blurb says about this episode- Deeply rooted tensions between Black and Asian American communities have existed for years yet are rarely discussed. What led to this friction, and how do we stop it? Award-winning Journalist Lisa Ling speaks to the negative impact of stereotypes and shares how her life has been affected by prejudice. Renowned scholar Dr. Michael Eric Dyson also comes to the table to explain the origins of this complicated relationship. Plus, Gammy confronts some of her own beliefs about this cultural rift.
I'll definitely put the link to this episode for ya - and you can also learn more by visiting their Facebook page or website redtabletalk.com.
I'm going to talk about the four worst habits people have that are toxic.
Habits make us who we are. Good habits could earn you honours and admiration while bad habits could frankly earn you a bad reputation.
Replacing bad habits with good ones, not only helps you live a well-balanced life, but they shape you to become better versions of yourself.
Please note: The habits I’m going to talk about is something that we (me, you, them) may have done without knowing in the past. So, if you are like me, you will reflect and may catch yourself in the future. Tip - do not be too judgemental and critical of yourself. The most important thing is, you are going to be aware of it. Awareness and expanding your perspective is the key to being your best version of yourself. Let me repeat that. Expanding your perspective is key to being your best version of yourself. That last quote was from the RedTableTalk’s post on Instagram.
Ok, back to it-
It's vital to be presently aware of yourself and others. One key thing to remember is to be kind to yourself once you recognize a bad habit you want to break. A mistake I've made in the past was that I was too hard on myself, thinking I was a bad person to have the bad habits in the beginning. That's silly. A better and positive way to overcome this is to be curious and encourage change. Also, the fact that I only acted with the knowledge I knew at the time. Awareness holds a lot of power.
The top of the list for the worst habits people have that are toxic is:
1. Dominating Conversations.
You may know someone like this, or even be unaware of it yourself. Everyone wants to be heard and be included. But there's a difference between a conversation that's cooperative and competitive.
People who dominate conversations are also known as Conversational narcissists, who would always want the attention of others to themselves.
At one point in a lot of people's lives, including myself in my younger days, we probably have shown some if not all of these five bad conversation habits.
1. Interrupting others.
2. Rambling and taking over someone else's conversation
3. Talking over others
4. Repeating the same ideas over and over in the same conversation.
5. Glancing at your phone and not paying attention.
So what's the solution? With our raised awareness, we become better listeners. We can fix dominating conversations in four ways.
1. Be open about your communication style. If you get excited, let people know about your burst of energy. Or that you like facts and need a painted picture to understand.
2. Commit and Listen to the conversation. You are probably saying, well duh C Dang. As simple as this sounds, make sure your eyes aren't wandering around or leave the phone alone. Pay attention to the person you are talking to and not to the distractions around you.
3. Remember to Pause. If you know, you interrupt others, form a new habit to pause after the person speaks. Pausing is a discipline that's important because you will let the other person finish talking about their thoughts, which is important because it shows that you care. Remember to listen to understand and not listen to respond. Carefully reflect on what they just said.
4. Ask questions. Ask questions about what you just heard, and do not, I repeat, do not have a judgemental tone. You are asking because you are curious, like "Oh wow, that's interesting. Can you tell me more?" - These type of questions are useful because not only will you understand the person more, but you are also on the road to building a good connection.
The 2nd worst habit people have that's toxic is:
2. Overthinking. There isn't anything in this world that can trouble you as much as your thoughts. Most of the time, overthinking makes you sadder and drags you. Some might say that overthinking is a disease that comes with an anxiety disorder.
When we overthink, it clouds our judgement and raises our stress level at an all-time high. Studies have shown that too much time in this negative process and mindset, makes us more prone to sickness and weakens our immune system.
Luckily, we have three ways to conquer this toxic habit.
1. Be aware. Once you are aware of your thought process, that awareness is the beginning of change. A change where you step back to see what's happening, how you respond, and why you feel the way you do.
2. Focus on what could go right, rather than what could go wrong. Usually overthinking is caused by fear. We put all of our focus on what could go wrong. But doing this, we numb ourselves and don't take any action — instead try a more positive approach: picture what could go right. Keep that thought and feel it.
3. Put a timer on it. Don't let yourself stress out for more than 5 mins. Within this time, it's best to think, worry and reflect.
What helps me is when I write down my thoughts and ask myself why? And if the worst did happen, how could I fix it? Writing it down not only helps eliminates the paralyzing fear, but it also gives me some confidence to move forward.
The third worst habit people have that's toxic is:
3. Over attachment with people.
The #1 Rule is you gotta focus on yourself. When we are very attached to someone, it's the need to fill a void in our life and our self-esteem. To some people, they could feel sick being away from this person due to the fear of being lonely.
Being attached to someone could mean many things from emotional to physical affection and attention.
Us humans are easily attached, whether it's to objects, events and people because we need to feel a sense of belonging. Keep this in mind: Attachment to people is where you become self-centred to fill in your needs.
How we could stop from being attached is by shifting your focus on yourself and learn the art of letting go. Be honest with yourself and learn to be alone by finding activities you could do, such as reading.
There is a sense of power being comfortable in your own skin. Because you are responsible for your happiness and it all starts with self-care and self-love. Your Mind, Body and Spirit.
There are three ways to help jump-start this journey to put yourself first:
1. Eat Healthy. There are countless studies done that processed, sugary and salty foods not only weaken your body over time but also fogs up your mind. Eat more natural foods, such as fruits and veggies and drink a lot of water. Your mind and body will thank you in the long run. Spend a little more money on good wholesome foods so you can spend less money on medical bills in the future.
2. Exercise More. As little as 30 mins of physical activity can improve your health and reduced the risk of developing many diseases such as diabetes type 2, cancer and cardiovascular disease. Not only will regular exercise improve your quality of life, but it can also boost your confidence and lets your mind think clearer.
3. Meditate. Your mind is equally as important as your body, if not more. If you've followed me for the past year, I spoke highly about meditation. I practise meditation every day since 2017, and it has changed my life. Many scientific studies have shown that mindfulness could change our brain and benefits not only our mental state but also your physical body. I use Headspace App if you are interested!
So take the time to put yourself first by taking care of your well-being.
The fourth worst habit people have that's toxic is:
4. Procrastination. You'll never do it if you don't do it NOW.
When the goal is too big, just the thought of the amount of work that needs to be put in usually turns off a lot of people.
I face this all the time, as many people do. It's a challenge where we've struggled and avoid issues that matters to us. I find what helps me is when I make my task a lot smaller. Making it easier to manage and more achievable.
You can start with these three steps:
1. Write down what you need to do, and break it down into smaller task.
2. Ask yourself, if you don't do it now, what will happen? What good and bad will come of it?
3. Reward yourself for taking these actions.
I spoke to a lot of people on this toxic habit, and a lot of people felt the same way and went through the same motion as me.
When I procrastinate, I feel guilty. That guilt eats me up and pushes me not to do what I need to do, and in return, I would feel even worst because I put myself down. And how do I bounce back and feel a LOT happier? By taking action. That's it. Take baby steps, take action, and reward yourself.
Well, there you have it, those are the 4 Worst Habits People Have That's Toxic.
Over-attachment to people
Be aware of your habits. Be kind to yourself if you recognize any toxic habits you may have. It takes a lot of strength to be real with yourself and replace bad habits with good ones. Now you know not only will good habits help you live a well-balanced life, but they will also shape you to become better versions of yourself.
Please note: I've put timestamps for each of the habits I've mentioned in the blub section below, in case you wanted to revisit them.
I would love to hear from you! Message me in the comment section below!
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